Relationship with you.

 This is the second slap or I'm lost count of how you are unmotivated with me.

I was so excited and had a rollercoaster in my tummy when I saw the email from Portland OES wanted an interview. I wanted to call you immediately, to express, to share, but I heard from you in the tones of "I'm tired, I can't be tired, well, ya, I am happy for you". Do you know, immediately you slap me again from seeing a rainbow flying from the sky into the soil on the grout floor. 

When I ask about what is the requirement to work in U.S, your answer to me is "I don't know because you are working with Alex", you could tell me "let me check later when finishing with Alex". will those words made both happier? will that make me have the patience to wait for my love of life? 

"WAIT". I have been waiting for you all the time. waiting for you to prepare, waiting for you for dinner, waiting for you to clean the place, waiting for you to get stable, waiting, which I don't have the time to wait in my life. in my clock. which I have spoken to you all the time, all the while, the past 5 to 7 years I guess.  

Most of the time I share my happiness with you, I have lost count of what happened, but most of the time, there is not much motivation from you, but when another way round, I'm happy for your anything, when student-parent give thanks to you and you share with me, I feel happy and show you. 

Is this worth it dear? Is t his worth of our lives for each other when I needed to be balanced feeling. Motivation, appreciate each other, say thankful, feel proud.