insecure

Am I doing something wrong with my life? why do I still feel insecure? I’m still feeling a lack of thing in my heart. a part still not there.
What’s my problem? I think I know, but I think I do not know.

Family side.
I’m tired of being the one always pleasing them. I’m tired I’m the one who always paying the bill. I don’t might to pay, just work it out together, this is part of family.

Work side.
I’m tired to ‘clean your butt’, I’m tired that my off day you all still will call me back for work or something going on, and I’m tired of you. The office is not my. I try so hard to work out the whole thing for you in 3 years. Yes. I did it. But do you see it? I don’t think so.

Love side.
Do you notice that until now I still can count how many time I go to your house? and I think you lost count how many time you come to my house. My house always ‘open door’ for you, but are your family welcome me? And do you notice you know most of my friend, but I only know just 1 of your friends? am I asking too much in here? I don’t know…
I need some one to hug me, but you not there for me. I know you always need to work and you trying your best in your work. And I know you got a lot of problem you need to handle too. But sometimes can I share with you my too? Like I always listen to yours?

But i guess i will work that all out again some day...