waiting

28 may is a Wesak day.
In the afternoon you msn me saying want to talk about it, OK. find.
I'll waiting for you from 8:30 till 10.30 you still not here yet. i sms you asking you :'where are you'? you saying at home. i asking you again : 'you saying you want to talk'? you telling me talk in the phone and asking me go to my room first. that time my heart starting to pain & feeling not right, and yet, you starting to tell me we not click. and you your self don't dare to tell me face to face & playing with words again. and yes! i do, i do come out the word :' you want to break up is it'? and you only starting with a YES. dammnn you! how dare you say that word so easily and from the phone! i ask you to come, face to face to talk it out.
In the car i still remember when you saying out those word ' i don't love you any more'. how dare you see our relationship so easily and so light. and you starting coming out all those reason saying your friend say we not click, I'm too emotional, I'm not strong enough.
My heart cutting to piece by your words. you have no idea how hurt, how selfish when you say that out. last week when we fight because of your phone sms, you still saying I do want you, i do care about you, I do LOVE YOU. and this week you are saying I don't love you. HOW DARE you say it just like that. GROW UP!!! from the first time i know you, you will never been like this. what change you to become so scare. i only want your care. you in the busy time, find! just at list a call. you saying you pampered me too much from the first place because seeing me too much. is that wrong a new couple seeing each other often? is that wrong?
And you telling me on December when we fight, you think again are we belong together? MOVE ON! is you always saying drop it!! what ever we fight i will forget it. and i still don't remember what are we fighting for that time & you still remember. you are so ego, so selfish that only thinking of your self we are not click because i always need you. and you are still thinking about your 21 years old 'best friend' saying we not click. are you that easy to listen what other people say? how about me then? do i say any bad part to you from what my friend say about you? any of them? NO!! is a NO!! because i see what you are, who are you, i choose to believe my self. i choose the right person. and that person have a good soul. yes. you always making me cry. but i tell you how i feel, is you need to listen and do what you think should do and make it better and tell me about it, and that is YOU told me to tell you in our policy. from the first month you told me that. and i always remember that because that is the most imported word for me and that is the most sweet word for me :' Tell me what wrong i do, i will fix it back, i will make my self better for you'. where is he again? where is that man i love so much?

29 may Saturday.
waking up without a soul. been crying the whole day since morning. the word you saying still hurting me so much more that i don't expectant. my family know about it. i do happy i have a family that really care about me will. i praying again. i pray you know what you doing, i pray my Lord, Jesus heal my pain that you give me. and i pray we will be OK.

30 May Sunday
I'm still moody and hurt from the word that you give me. but i starting to angry about you. you can so easily just saying out like this? and why other people words so easily will turn your mind? you should have your own mind set. because is your choose. not them! you are with me, not them! because you work. because your study fail! and you choose to break up with me! the anger in me starting to make me cry again. yes, we are not break up because i say NO! i would let go like this. but yes... is still hurt so much. but when you saying we try again. is a 'love' can try? are you change already? or really just me to try? just by my self?

31 May Monday
from morning. i do know you in the office already, but you didn't put online until afternoon, i ten not to msn,call,sms you. we need to cool down. but I'm still feel hurt.

6 June Tuesday
already pass 1 week that didn't hear your voice. On the Sunday, I cant stop my heart just thinking of you, so what i do is only sms you, i don't dare to call you because i afraid i will just cry out again just hearing your voice. is the pain that make me alive. is the missing part that make me feel sad deep inside. hun...can i still call you that? will that still 'only me' can call you that? i miss you.

10 June Thursday
the whole night I'm been dreaming about you, your bad, your good, the way you look at me, the way you hug me, the way you kiss me, Oh God! i Miss you so much. from the sms i still don't really dare to disturb you. i scare you will hate me, i scare you will run away and i scare you will not be in my life any more.

13 June Sunday
i pray for God to give me strength to talk to you, i pray for GOD you will talk to me that not just a simple word. but end up, yes. disappointing from you again. all you think about is the computer that not giving you the money. yes, i do ask you about 'do you still want to fix?' but really...all you coming back to me is the money. you don't even call me back. my feeling for you i think i lost bit by bit already.

10 July 2010
will never wait again. because you don't love me any more. but i always still pray God will care for you.

Pisces and Aquarius Relationship.

This is an imaginative match, and the relationship between these two will frequently take an unconventional form. The qualities that you like about each other can also be the reasons why this partnership is none to easy. Since both operate on an unworldly, creative and thought level, they tend to understand each other well. However, both tend to get so wrapped up in their own thoughts that they overlook to communicate to each other. Aquarius generates an abundance of ideas, some quite eccentric, while Pisces accepts and responds with intuitive understanding rather than encouraging the Aquarius to finish what they have started. Both need to remember there are times when they must to return to earth or the relationship could prove chaotic.

Aquarius women & Pisces man

Aquarius woman is not materialistic in any way. A simple romantic gesture will get her every time. She isn’t so easily surprised either. In fact, she is the one who usually does the surprising, especially with her whimsical and crazy thoughts that float through her head. Even though she craves her freedom to continue to be her individualistic self, once she falls in love, she is yours forever.

Pisces male is quite taken by Aquarius female. Her odd behavior does not phase him and he knows how to tolerate such antics. He is calm, thoughtful, quite gentle and compassionate, most of the time. Anger him and you’ll see a different side of him, but this rarely happens. He can tolerate a lot and let most of the bad pass him by. He may be confused when it comes to a quick decision, but he is more than willing to give his all to someone he loves whether it be his lover or a family member.

Aquarius woman will commit herself to the man she loves as soon as he has proven to be her very best friend. He will need to show her that he isn’t in the relationship just for her heart and body but for her intellectual mind as well. Most of the time she’d prefer him to show his friendship before his love. She’ll initially spill her all to her new Pisces man lover in hopes that he actually listens to what she has to say. She’ll attentively listen to all of his advice he has to give even though she’ll end up doing things her way anyway. The good thing about it is that the Pisces male will always support whatever she decides to do. Neither of them like to make promises as they hate to break them when given. The only difference here is that Aquarius woman will be open about not wanting to give a promise.

Sex between Aquarius woman and Pisces man is not so much an experience as it is an experiment. With such a mental bond between the two, they will reach new levels in their lovemaking, much more so than the ordinary couple in love. Their bodies can go through the motions and sex can be great, but they won’t feel completely bonded until their minds completely come together. Then, there will be a harmony and a wonderful smooth flow to their relationship. She loves life and will carry this into her sexual bond with him, and he will realize that long treasured dream he has only been able to dream until Pisces man helps him find it. If anyone will be able to find the true romance in a bond, it will be these two.

Pisces man is known to give his all to others around him. His downfall of such a quality is the fear of losing his own regard for himself and what he needs. This holds true for most, except for his Aquarius woman. In her, he sees his own strengths in self sacrificing himself for her without a hesitation. He will not feel whole, nor will he feel worthy of her friendship if she does anything different. Aquarius has a need, a craving for her independence and adventure. She keeps this in her life to keep herself up in the clouds where she is happiest. That is until Pisces man comes along. Something about his attitude and attention toward her brings her out of the clouds and back down to earth. Her need for independence eases and together, that touch of ‘crazy’ that they will play with together will send her into a love that she’ll hold onto forever with faith and loyalty.

There will be arguments between Pisces man and Aquarius woman, sometimes more frequently than need be, but quarreling is sometimes a funny thing when it occurs between two people who love each other as these two do. They’ll quarrel back and forth when in fact all they are really thinking is how much each one wants the other one. The little things can easily be overlooked and the bond between them will grow strong.

做我的男朋友辛苦吗？is hard to be my boyfriend?

做我男朋友不需要很有钱,够用就好了;
be my boyfriend not really need to be a multi millionaire, enough for all the expensed should be find.

出手用不着很大方,肯为我花钱就好了;
no need be a spender, but willing to spend for me.

不需要你多会说甜言蜜语,在我最无助的时候,可以给肩膀

靠就好了;
no need be a sweet talker, but when i need you, please be there for me.


不需要有多浪漫,晚上陪我到处走走逛逛聊聊天就足够了;
no need be a romeo, but give time for holding each other hand have a walk have a talk would be enough already.



如果我们会走在一起,证明我们是相爱的.
if we belong together from the first place, mean we are loving each other already.

我的要求不是很高,去逛街的时候,你会拉着我的手,看到熟人,能够和对方介绍这是我女朋友;
my expectance from you not that high, going out together, you will hold my hand, bang to your friends, you willing to intro me to them saying this is my girl friend.

当我们不在一起的时候,会常打电话发信息给我.证明你有在想我,讲电话的时候,要多说话,我喜欢听到你讲,那样感觉你就在我身边,不许先挂我电话,我讨厌听到嘟嘟声.
Sometimes when we not together, remember to call me or text me, because mean you are missing me, when talking from the phone, talk more then i do, i like to hear your voice, because will make me feel you beside me & do not hang up the phone before i do. because i don't like to hear the droping phone sound.

不要说你很忙,那样只是证明我很自私,讨厌那种感觉,
don't say you busy, that will always make it a excuses and making me selfish. i hate that feeling.

看到靓女的时候瞄几眼就好了,不要流口水~
looking at pretty women remember to call me. but don't dream about them.

久别重逢的时候,记得给我一个拥抱,在我耳边说我好想你. . . .
when seeing each other, remember to give me a hug and whisper beside my ear saying i miss you...

我知道,我很任性,但既然你选择了和我在一起,你就应该学会包容我,能接受并指出我的不好,
我并不是一个自我为中心的人!
i know sometimes i'm rebellious, but since you choose to be with me, please do learn how to pamper me, and guide me from my mistake.

如果你觉得我哪方面不好可以说出来,但不可以忽略我;
if you think which part of me not doing good, you can tell me face to face, but do not ignore me.

我可以忍受你直接说不爱我,但是我讨厌你对我忽冷忽热;
i can tolerance you saying don't love me any more, but i hate you treat me like doll (remember only give a call from the phone, don't remember... will just let it be)

我是人,有感觉,也有脾气,不要说我不喜欢听的话,要是我沉默了,那代表我不想再谈论那个话题,那么请你停止说,我知道我脾气真的不好,但是要是你受不了,你可以和我说;
i'm a human, have feeling and have anger too, don't lecturing me. if i'm silence mean i don't want to talk about it. Then you should stop saying. i know i got a hard temper, that my wrong. but if you don't like it, just tell me.

如果我选择了你,证明我是真的爱你,所以如果我有不好的地方,你也要说出来.
i'm choose you, mean i truly love you. so if i'm wrong, do tell me like i tell you your wrong too.

两个人在一起,就要相互信任,你可以有自己的私人空间,但是不可以欺骗我~ 如果你真的爱着别人，请跟我说，我不想一直受伤害. . . . （因为，我也想有个人爱着我，疼着我！）
God putting two different people together is a hard work already, but it will work it out. our part is giving trust for each other. you can have your space, but don't lie to me. if you fall in love with some one, please tell me. i don't want to be the last to know and get hurt like this. because i my self want a person to love me, care for me. and that person only belong to me.

a hand i can hold on for ever

Im not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I dont want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want a steady hand i can hold. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep and wake knowing that my heart is safe. I want to love and be loved.”

I love to cry

I Love to cry

When seeing you coming with the surprise.
Watch a touching movie.
Saw the street dog been bang by a car.
Answering all the admire phone call and sms but the person I'm waiting to answer was not calling.

Watching you leave me behind.

Rushing all the work when the computer hangs.
Listening to the song that makes me think of you.

First time kissing you

Can’t stop missing you and run out of tissue

Remind me of my pretty dog pass away.

And now looking at my aunt dog passes away.

Can’t reach you

When looking the couples waking beside me and I’m alone.

Finished the email and the computer hang again.

People telling you NO

In a good restaurant having a good meal.

Missing you at night

Depravation time.
Choosing trust or not to trust any more.

tired

I’m starting tired, I’m starting think twice. I try to build the house strong by my self since you always busy, but guess don’t work out this way. Even you not there for me, I try to be strong alone but didn’t work out ideal. I start to laugh with tears in the night. I’m so silly, and stupid. Always though that you see me, pretend you always be there for me, just you too busy with you work.

Pain…not the first time to be pain,but this time my heart break…my mind playing negative game with me, is all negative. I try to think positive, but I can’t do it by my self any more, because is you who break the trust. You break it. The promises from the first time we been together. You break it. How about future? The promises you promise me? Will you break again? When every time I tell you how I feel, you always answer back ‘yes…yes…yes...’ I smile at my self. You fool! Stupid women, how many time you want to give excuse for him. He got the time to reply back the other girl, but how about you? stupid women, loser. Your own boy friend doesn’t care about you going in hospital, "I'm bz" that how you write. He didn’t even notice your change, your mood, he close your phone call!!

I’m so enervation now. But I try to ready my self for every single thing that we will face true now and then, I won’t be able to forget the things that left me broken but I can try. but not alone, but yet…
I feel alone. Looking at my hand again.