OneRepublic - Good Life

Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don’t really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone New names and numbers that I don’t know
Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to nigh
Night turns to whatever we want
We’re young enough to say

(Chorus)
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can’t fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don’t know
Where I’ve been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado

Sometimes there’s airplanes I can’ t jump out
Sometimes there’s bullshit that don’t work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about

When you’re happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

(Chorus)
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can’t fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I’ll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I’m taking a mental picture of you now
‘Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about

(Chorus)
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can’t fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

Bella's Lullaby

In hospital for my first surgery

For my toilet~ sorry to make you smell like hospital for more then 2 weeks.

see~ i got a new 3D tattoo on my hand. but i dun like it. ><

Breakfast at hospital not bad at all, you can choose what you want to have before a day~ but i still like home cook meal.

Getting silly when really bored me till dead and + the pain at my bum bum. Over an hour the operation only started to feel pain. ( = =)

Been 3 month i know i"m sick just didn't have the stupid time to check it out and 'cut' it.

but is truth when my mum say this 2010 you will 'lost blood' mean something will happen to me... will bloody any time in this year. well~ think this is it. :p 

my first time going in the big white room that allot of flashlight like you saw in TV that kind of hospital big round flashing on you, still remember the feeling on that bed had no fear. still saying hi to the pretty cute nurse and asking what is this, why so cold here, can't you guys turn the air corn down abit. is freezing. and the bed are warm.( they got electrical warm bed there)  hahaha... silly right. and i still remember one of the doc who answer me ' need freezing air because can lower down the bad bacteria, but still allot of case gena'. that what he told me :S 

When jumping to another bed for operation, my doc finally come to me ask how am I. 

me : what shit i got in to now... he laugh~~

by the time finish wake up is only 11.32am, i still remember when the nurse pushing me to the operation room is 10am. that fast huh...

nothing much happen when in hospital, just only will sms allot! to friends too bored. can't walk, can't really sleep, can't sit!! coming back home still walking like a 80s grandmum. for more then 3 wee and only starting healing, and need to use salt to wash when every time finish my 'business'  talk about that. that is my worse night mare, every morning siting there just to hope 'not that pain, dear GOD, please not that pain again' sweat in cold sweat, pain till can't cry. and the whole toilet bowl like i just kill a human. Think of it is still.....$%^&*(@#

but now~ safe and sound~ <3

Dear GOD, i still wish for happy and healthy for each and every one i know.

Bruno Mars - "The Lazy Song" (Studio Session) LIVE!!!!

Wake up at the morning feel lazy, but fresh~ oh~ well~ just be lazy Monday then. ^^

new Chinese name

 My New Chinese name due for my mum ask the fong sui Master about it. why need to change it when the old name been with me more then 20 years. well~ that fella say my name no water and wood. (= =)

my only girlysa~

Here she go going for wash wash till clean and pretty. i know i should have treat her better, but guess i need to earn more for her spa. :/

every women had their dream

Cant say im not dreaming about wedding of my own. yes~ my own.

When looking at the magazine my brother bought back for his own wedding. my eye just can't move away with this the most beautiful dress i saw. the back part is the most daring, sexy and just beautiful.

Human

How very human of us to assume, to judge, to misunderstand. 

How very human of us to be weak, to forgive, to regret. 

How very human of us to fight, to love, to despise. 

How very human of us to make mistakes with a clouded head. 

How very human of us to only watch, as we bring each other down. 

How very odd of me to not feel it in my chest.

Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I would've done things differently. Sometimes the regret that I feel, overwhelms me. Sometimes I think about how different things could've been. And some days, these thoughts keep me awake.

Again I feel my heart ache. But I've forgotten what that feeling means.

C3 - Holy is the Lord

 

I MISS singing this song  already.

Here and Now (live) - Send Down Your Love Album

 

Been trying to sing for ages . last 2 month I'm started to sing and i really enjoyed it, but guess GOD give me another test to fight for it.

Deepavali

Is Deepavali today, last year I still remember you telling me when you reach home from work surprisedly your dad deco the house with Deepavali feel, and I still remember when you telling me you got a smile at your face. How are you? Smses all my Indian friends wishing them happy Deepavali. except you… no reply back. still hoping you doing good, am I still hoping something from you? am I too soft hearted I don’t know, but I know I still care.

Just came back from my boss open house, meeting all the colleague and chat about work, kids, house…etc. and I don’t feel enjoy about it. the weather now a day dammn hot. I hate hot weather, making me just want to be in the cold ice box. Is another holiday again. Just wish you enjoy it and so do I.

you say i acted like wasn't a big deal.

Bali soap

Thank you guys for the non stop aroma~ ^^ will be display on my office table... for 'unnecessary use'. then only use for the 'better use'. :D

Breathe Again

Hi Friend,

How are you now? Sorry about last night, knock off at 11pm.

don’t say not knowing how you feel. i know how’s it feel, the pain, the betray, the anger and sad. Cant imagine I been there. The pain that cause me more then I expected. I think I told you before, after breaking off. I cant sleep for more then 2 week, I started taking sleeping pill just to rest my body, but my mental still very ill so do my spiritual, every night I pray and pray for healing.

You can’t work. But still need to go office, smile at your boss and colleague, you cant eat, but still have a good laugh and dinner with family, but after dinner I will when back my room starting to vomit and cry.  This is how I ‘feel’ for more then a month.

let you know this is just a sharing. Not saying about bad word or talking bad thing about someone & no matter how he still your best friend. & who not want a best friend for ever. Still wish him good health so do his family.

last night when you call me for the answer. I do know why you will call or sms her in the very mean way. But is it worth it? That only make you more angry?(God only want us be happy) make you be a mean man, and make another party sad? and no matter how. You two love before. You care before, love her and treasure her before.

This is my view – I don’t want a person I know and care before be a stranger.

But God always got his plan for us. just maybe our time haven arrive yet..

God past me a message when I'm totally lost that time, and now I think God want me to past to you his child to be strong.

forgive us our sins as we forgive those...

FOR- be FOR it's deserved
GIVE - a gift
NESS - a continued action, a constant state of being

understand now?

Eagle's Wings

But those who hope in the Load will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk weary, they will walk and not be faint.

been going church past 3 month or maybe more. learn allot again & the most impotent thing.Clear my spiritual and mine.

Learning to let go. yes~ I learn the most is LETTING IT GO. friends already advice me not worth it. family know I'm still not my self yet.
Yesterday Pastor Joe say well. let it go, why need to put a GUILT in our life, why need to please people that not appreciate what you done for them? just WHY need to please THEM? be a forgiveness. don't wait for 'SORRY'. not worth it. yes~ not worth it any more.
Waiting for a 'sorry' cant change any thing too. you will still think of it! you will still talk about it!.
Is time for me to let go. let got of you, i will not talk about you any more. i will not think of you any more.
Still Bless you good health & family too. GOD bless.

Ever The Same

I want to be tat girl who would tell you things about yourself that you didn’t even know. I want to be that girl who always carries a pen with her so she could scribble things on her hand when something comes to mind. I want to be the girl who didn’t take what she had for granted. The girl who would have did things differently because she wasn’t scared to fight for what she loves. The girl who smiles and for once, didn’t feel the need to pretend. I want to be that girl, who is genuinely happy. The kinda girl, who you would look at and smile. 

Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you’ve seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you find yourself doing something & wishing they were right there by your side.

The Five Rs

Just finish reading this page when i just done with my work but cant leave the office yet.

As a trainer, I am always keen that teaching never remains as the level of interesting theory but can be put into practice, and so here is a five- step method to ensure that the enemy's attempts to cloud our minds and deaden our hearts are short-lived : the Five Rs.

RECOGNISE the attack. The longer Satan can get us to believe his lies or give heart -room to anger, disappoitment, unforgiveness etc, the more damage he is able to do. Develop your own 'early warning' system - mine is that as soon as i start thinking about my 'rights' in a situation, something is usually wrong!

REPENT of agreeing with the enemy, change the way you think (metanoeo) and renounce his lies.

REMEMBER that christ died for you and the punishment for your sins was laid on him. And it is through believing that you are given the right to be a child of God.

RECEIVE the rhema word God is speaking into your situation and ask him for a Scripture verse to counter the lies of the enemy.

REHEARSE declare that word to yourself and out loud to the enemy. God's word has creative power as we see in Genesis1: every rhema word of God contains the power to bring about its own fulfillment - so speak it out.
Too often we are passive when the enemy seeks to rob, kill and destroy. God says that he will train our hands for war.
Often God will allow us to face situations that stretch us so that we build up spiritual muscle. This will only happen when we engage with the situation and seek God;s wisdom in how to respond to it, rather then wishing God would take it away.

busy

If you’re too busy to call me, i’ll understand. If you don’t have time to check on me, i’ll understand. If you always cancel on me, i’ll understand. If you keep throwing tantrums, i’ll understand. If you keep ignoring me, i’ll understand. But if I stop loving you, it’s your turn to understand.

I'm naive, but not stupid.

http://vimeo.com/groups/36319/videos/15497511

http://www.c3malaysia.com/clc/page02.asp?contid=55

Is been more then 3 month 'alone'.

just say... I'm naive,but not stupid. And you not that smart too.

Moving on~

Simple Happy

 

looking for next year note book that day in MPH and i found this~

and remind me one of my status update in fb, Wishing upon the moon.. does it help??

It DOES help! :D and don't have to direct to the stars - haven't you heard of "aim for the moon - if you miss, you'll land on the stars"? :)  answer from a good friend of my. 

yes~ im trying out my new life now, i always motivation my self. thank positive, be positive, do positive and just be happy. any reason that can make me happy i will be happy. simple as that. just happy about it, why cant be happy? 

Dear GOD, i still praying for it and want more in life . but i learn to be 'simple happy' 

Thank you GOD.

Dear Father of my

Dear God, Dear Lord, Dear Jesus, Dear Father of my.
Thank you for blessing my life you have given it to me. Thank you for letting me know all the wonderful people and carried for me. Thank you God always send your angel when i'm down.
Dear God, I'm calling your name now to reach you & i knew you always be with me. believe you because of the work you have seen me do & you heal me.
Dear God, Dear Lord, Dear Jesus, Dear Father of my.
I'm praying for my family & friends happy & healthy.
I"m praying for him & his family Happy & Healthy especially his brother, hes a good boy, smart boy that too young to go with you. Take care of him God, guide him like you guide me, take care of him like you take care of me. love him as your child like you love me Lord.
Dear God, he is one of your lost angel. and this angel of yours is stolen your child heart. and the stolen heart will never return.
Dear Load, Dear God, Dear Jesus, Dear Father of my.
calling up your name, worship you, praying & blessing for people is the first thing you teach me. Thank you Lord.
I have faith in you God, you always has a plan for me.
Amen.

I Got You

A place to crash
I got you
No need to ask
I got you
Just get on the phone
I got you
Come and pick you up if I have to
What's weird about it
Is we're right at the end
And mad about it
Just figured it out in my head
I'm proud to say
I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye
I'll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry
I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you
I got you

Ain't falling a part, or bitter
Let's be bigger than that and remember
The cooling outdoor when you're all alone
We'll go on surviving
No drama, no need for a show
Just wanna say
I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye
I'll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry
I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-got-u-lyrics-leona-lewis.html ]

I got you
Go ahead and say goodbye (go ahead)
I'll be alright (say goodbye)
Go ahead and make me cry
I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you

'Cause this is love and life
And nothing we can both control
And if it don't feel right
You're not losing me by letting me know

Go ahead and say goodbye (say goodbye)
I'll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry
I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you
Go ahead and say goodbye (go ahead)
I'll be alright (say goodbye)
Go ahead and make me cry
I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you

A place to crash
I got you
No need to ask
I got you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BdyI8Uwmus&ob=av2e

move on

Some people, they can just move on, you know, mourn and cry and be done with it. Or at least seem to be. But for me, I don’t know. I didn’t want to fix it, to forget. It wasn’t something that was broken. It’s just something that happened. And I’m just finding ways, every day, of working around it. Respecting and remembering and getting on at the same time.

she loved before.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there." Bob Marley

Sad = Smile?

Dear GOD, i would really love to smile. really. but maybe just not today. because my heart is bleeding.

life is simpler

listening to those songs and feeling mood swing is normal, ice cream wont make it go away.....the more harder u try to make urself happy, the more it means u're not..... let urself to b sad when u are indeed sad, but after u r sad, u know u wont wanna sad n same time u;ll find other things that will make u not sad n b happy. Life is a mix of both sides.....sometimes let it be sad when its sad, n be happy when its happy, life will be simpler...n when life is simpler....u will be less sad n more happy :) cheer

Thanks KS. always appreciate your company. i cant say try my best to be happy, but i can say im trying my best to fight it. and i know. im not alone. :)

http://bocoboco.blog.friendster.com/2007/06/overlook-the-story-about-our-complicated-simplicity/?sms_ss=facebook

mood swing

" You tell yourself it's not worth it, but if it really didn't matter, you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it. "

dammnn... i hate my self sometimes. why i can't just over him! why he still stick in my mind!!!

time heals???

It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.

This life is what you make it.

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up becuase if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
- Selina Wong (1 of my best girl in my work place)

grudges??

am i the only one who's not holding grudges anymore? :(

is it?

Dear God, Dear Jesus, Dear Father of my.
you giving me sign again... are you?
a sign that want me to care again is it?
a sign that want me to love again... is it?
a sign that want me to know more, to learn more... is it?
I'm still scare, what should i do?
Dear God, Dear Jesus. please guide me.

im just a girl...yes, just a girl

我只是个女生

我希望有人疼，有人爱，有人包容，有人抱着我睡，有人让我撒娇，有人可以吃我做的饭，有人可以夸我乖，有人能陪在我身边，有人能过马路的时候拉着我的手，有人能给我安全。

有人喜欢带我逛街，穿高跟鞋走累了都会有人背。

有人乐意带我去他去的各种场合，并把我介绍给他的朋友们

我只是个女生。

我希望有人关心，有人保护，有人会记得每天告诉我晚安，有人告诉我他对我很安心。

有人记得我们一起过去的点滴，有人绝对不把我们之间的承诺作儿戏。

有人告诉我，照顾我，他一点也不累。

我只是个女生。

我希望有人认同我，有人认真思考然后告诉我他觉得我的话其实也有道理，在我做了点可爱的事情以后摸摸我的头鼓励我做的好。有人不轻易夸我，也不吝啬使劲夸我。

我只是个女生。

我希望能有人惦记我，在我郁闷大哭的时候把我的头按在胸膛哭够了问我怎么了。

我希望有人告诉我，有时候想念我令他难受。

我娇气，不放纵，不说谎。不会无理取闹，不会缠着他给我买东西。偶然一条短信告诉我他想我，我就知足。

我不演戏，我什么都相信。我说过的话都算数，所以，对我说过的，别忘记。请别忘记。

我会尽量变得更好看，相信海誓山盟。相信自己配的上自由和幸福。

我只是个女生。

我喜欢诚实的人。因为我诚实。

如果我说我们不会再见了，我一定会躲开你。

也许我还会在街边见到你，你又会如何回忆我。

我会放过自己，放过压抑，放过附身的记忆。往事通缉，孤单侵袭，习惯就可以。

如果我的想念喷薄而出，我不会告诉你。尽管如此，那些思念依然值得我珍惜。

如果我相信你。我会告诉你，我可以不勇敢吗。那些勇敢的人都未必幸福，因为是不幸让他们勇敢。

我喜欢被勇敢的你守护着，因为有你，所以我不需要勇敢。

我只是个女生。

我会难过，但不会自甘堕落。

我会伤心，但不会伤心太久。

dont forget..., your world. I come before.

不是每个擦肩而过的人都会相识，也不是每个相识的人都会让人牵挂。

Is not all the people know/remember each other by walking or past by & not all the people will miss another when they know each other.

至少我们在今生，在那个地方，在一转身的时候没有错过。在我们双眼相望的时候，在眼中找到了爱的缘份。若大的地球上能和你相遇真的不容易，感谢上天给了我们这次相识，相恋的缘份。

But...at list, in this life, at that place, God let us make the 'right' turn to let us know each other. when we looking to each other eye, and we know, we found love. In this world. the whole big world. meeting another half is not easy. really not easy, thank you God for letting us meet and in love.

曾经我也带给你快乐

past, i give you happiness

曾经我也带给你幸福

曾经我也让你焦灼和无奈

past, i give you sadness

曾经你也让我等待和期盼

past, you let me think of faith and hope.

也曾经我们都忘了自己，体会那心跳的感觉和缠绵的爱。

and past, we forget who we are & just knowing/learning the heart bi sound~ & the sweet love we have.

只是有一段感情再也不可能继续，有一个人再也不能相依偎，有一个声音再也不能经常的在耳边响起，有一双手再也握不住那手心的温度与舒适。

But, not all relationship will have a happy ending, like now, i need to let go of...

there will be no more 'hug and kisses and saying good night'. there will be no more ' voice beside your ear'. & there will be no more ' big warm hand that always holding yours just to make sure your hands warm as his'

不是每一段爱情都有美丽的回忆，也不是每段回忆都是那么的刻骨铭心。

Not all the relationship will have a good beautiful memory, and not all the memory will always 'think the most'.

我们既然不能相伴到老，就让我在这里为你祝福。因为你已是我今生永远无法割舍的牵挂。只是再多的思念和牵挂也换不回拥有你的日子。失去第一次最爱的人竟是这种感觉，原来爱你和放弃一样的不容易。

God let us know and love each other, but cant make it till the end.

let me pray for you. ( like i always did) You always will have a place in my heart. Just this love that we have before, will no longer can link. losing the first love in my life i never know will be this difficult, loving you and letting you go uneasy too.

也许你的那句'我爱你'曾经是个玩笑，但我付出的依然是最真的心。

Maybe for you, our relationship is a joke, but for me, i really appreciate God allot for giving me 'you', letting me know you & how to love a man.

如果你真的爱过我，那我是幸福的。就算和你走不到天涯，我的心依然为你牵挂。我会为你永远的祈祷和祝福，愿你永远的幸

福 平安。

( still is too hard to write out all thous word again, but yes~ we love before, but yes, is a past.)

别忘了...你的世界我来过。

but Don't forget, your world. I come before.

当你不开心的时候，我会陪你流泪。当你不快乐的时候，我就是你的开心果。当你孤独的时候，有我在陪你说话。当你伤感的时候，我会和你一样的忧郁。当你梦见我的时候，那是我再想你了......

别忘了...你的世界我来过。

不要你给我太多不要你的任何承诺也不要你的任何责任不要你能深深的记着我不要你记着我们曾经的一切只想让你偶尔的时候还会想起我偶尔想起那个曾经那么深深爱过你的人那个曾经带着微笑给你温柔的我...给过你完完整整的心......

别忘了...你的世界我来过。

If You Forget Me

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land.

But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine.

时间能推翻爱情

正如标题，很多女孩都这样。希望以后都会遇到那个他，和

他一直幸福下去。

20几岁的姑娘都经历过这样一种人，全天候的为他等待，为他担心，为他痴迷。有好吃的，第一个想到他吃没吃过，喜不喜欢，自己却饿着肚子。衬衫脏了，马上让他脱下来拿回家洗，其实自己的袜子都是妈妈洗的。他发烧了，自己感冒，本来虚弱的女生坚持去给本来强壮的男生买药，她怕他吃了青霉素会过敏。看着他毫不迟疑的背影，一步步走远，最后消失。

几天都不见一面，发短信不回，打电话也很冷淡，好像自己在他的眼里就是一个有了也行，没了更好的那么一个点缀。每五分钟就看一下手机，有没有有关他的一点信息，大多都是失望。偶尔有一次他出现，欣喜若狂，摒弃了一切胡斯乱想，那些美好的梦又开始肆无忌惮的蔓延。

为这个人付出自己的全部，为这个人变得时而哭时而笑，完全像个患得患失的傻子。他高兴，自己就笑，他离开自己就哭。他控制着自己一切的情绪，没有理智，没有尊严，卑微的像个乞讨者，摇尾乞怜。连点安慰都显得那么金贵。

终于有一天，你发现了自己，放弃了他，放弃了自己长久以来的坚持和努力，也放弃了自己的刻骨铭心。时而哭时而笑，时而暴跳，眼神入股魂一样游走。梦中惊醒，哭的累了，眼睛里干的像西北的地。红血丝，黑眼圈，无一不昭示着自己的心痛。期望着他还能记得自己就要来了的生日，也成为一场赌博。

即使这样，还是会想，他有没有像自己一样，抽烟喝酒不睡觉，不分白昼的哭叫和大闹。如果有，那也许他还是爱自己的。如果没有无疑又是给自己一刀。

就这样，如张爱玲所说“时间能推翻爱情”，你发现，街上的帅哥很清爽，楼下小屋的咖啡很好喝，桌上的百合每天都是新的。丢了他，丢了天，丢了幻想。回归自我，着了陆，脚踏实地。生活变得安稳，又记起这个世界的喜悦。那个傻逼让自己失了的世界，一点点的回归了。

直到有一天，遇见了有一个男人，他愿意蹲在街上为你系鞋带，像爸爸一样疼爱你，做你喜欢的事，重视你的生日，你们的纪念日甚至你父母的生日。叫你宝贝，宽容但不纵容。

这个男人的身高、外貌，工作……或者说这个男人是谁都不重要，重要的是自己在他的面前可以是谁。

有一天，你会感谢那个人，每次回想起那个人，你都会更想珍惜身边这个视自己如天的男人，这份爱让你看清楚世界原来这么美好。

are YOU Happy NOW

She’s the type of girl that would just smile at you when everything inside her hurts, but all she wants is to see you happy. Understand shes holding everything behind her smile so that yours can happen. Stop taking advantage of what may could disappear right in front of you.

你不再爱了

　曾经，你说我哭，你会心疼，你想看到我的笑，可是你

知道在你说分手的时候，我会不会哭？我哭你还会不会心疼？

　　爱情是一种双向性的情感交流，是两颗心的倾慕，是两情相悦，是灵魂与灵魂的碰撞。如果你不再爱我，再怎么刻意的去追求也都是没有用的，因为，你不再爱了，所以你可以很冷静很清醒地说：我们分手吧。

　　不想再流泪，我努力去控制自己，眼泪打动不了爱情，眼泪只是在自取其辱。就算用眼泪打动了你，这样得到的还是爱情吗？宁可选择相信，我们是真的已经走到了爱的尽头。

　　这个世界是残酷的，也是无情的，没有了任何人地球一样的转动，谁没有了谁都一样的活，除非是真的不想活了，否则谁也挡不了生的路。所以，我爱你，但我也要爱自己，没有你，我一样要活。

　　我明白你的心，你需要的是什么，你最恨的是什么。但是你明知道了只是个误会，可是以你的性子，明知是错了，也不会回头的，我清楚明白且悲哀的知道这一点，所以，你会连一句道歉都不会给我的，你在怕什么呢？

　　只怪有缘无份。人往往都是这样，得到了的不珍惜，失去了才觉得可贵，我又会在你心里留下什么位置呢？或许有天你会突然想起来，曾经有个傻女人真的很爱很爱你。

　　女人爱一个男人会是百分百，而男人却会留下一定空间的去爱，所以，男人会不断的出现不同的红颜、不同的知己，对于这个，男人总会有一种虚荣心。所以，当有一天男人对女人说：你要留下百分之三十爱自己。而女人会哭，因为这句话太晚了，女人早已为爱付出百分百，付出的就再也收不回来了。

　　爱情没了，生活一样在继续。爱是种责任，如果你真的爱，请不要轻易说放弃，那不止会伤害别人，同样也会伤害你自己。对未来的承诺，如果你没有把握实现它，那么，请你也不要给我任何承诺，因为，我会当真。

　　快乐与伤悲成正比，我感谢你曾经爱过我，曾经带给我的快乐，也感谢你给了我痛和后悔的机会。因为如果没有爱过你，我可能不会知道什么叫做后悔，也不会知道世间竟会有如此这般铭心刻骨的痛。

　　有你的地方就是我的天堂！你的离开带走了我的天堂，也带走了我对未来的幻想。从此以后，我要开始正视我的生活，正视我现有的一切，我会认真对待，想尽一切办法去享受每一天的日升月落。

　　我最爱的你，我用放弃成全了你要的，所以，你也一定要开心阿，就好像空间的红色文字一样：“我们都要幸福”！

Enough

Every day i woke up early, every day i woke up sad since that day. It’s funny how it still hurts me, the love i’ve never had.

I need to learn how to keep some things to myself. I have no place to say them anymore. Those words aren’t mine to say. I know that now. I’m slowly opening my eyes to a whole different perspective. Sometimes i don’t even know if what i’m doing is right. But maybe i should just shut up and let it be.

I'm not in love, but i can’t forget the hurt.

I can’t take the past back. And i can’t keep my mind from thinking. Just like how i can’t stop the sun from shining, and I still looking back the picture.

still Here

“I haven’t changed, I’m still me. The circumstances have changed and I have to keep myself strong. But I’m still here for you like i always was.”
Still here, like i always was

hopeless me

Stupid of me. I wish i didn’t have to feel this way. My heart aches. I notice things most people don’t. I think about what you do and what you don’t do. They say action speak louder than words. Some people avoid trying to think about it. I can’t. These thoughts, they haunt me every second of the day. When i sleep, they appear in my dreams. Sometimes i wish i could forget.

There are things i wish i could say, but i can’t. And there are things i keep so far down, i forget to let them out sometimes. Today they did, and it’s been a while. It’s been weeks since i allowed myself to feel properly and they all just came rushing back. And yet, i still don’t know how to fix things.

I can’t even express how i feel because it sounds pathetic. I just .. don’t know anymore.

hoping for something to happen

• What makes it hard for you to let go? Is it because you’re still hoping for something to happen? Is that why some people can’t let go? Because somewhere deep down, they’re still hoping for some miracle to happen? Or maybe because they’re too in love to let go?

• I understand now why people feel safe when they’re with their partner. Because home is where the heart is. And their heart is with that someone. Therefore, home is wherever that person is. That’s how you feel safe. Makes sense right?

• Waiting. What’s the point of that. What’s the point in waiting when you know that nothing is going to happen. It’s the same concept with the whole not letting go. You’re waiting because you’re hoping for something to happen. And if you know it’s not going to, why wait?

• I think the secret of moving on ( As much as everybody denies it ) is getting someone else. Really, that’s the one sure way you can get your mind off things. They make you feel wanted like you did before. Even if it’s just a rebound. It helps. ( but now, i still hoping for.)
  

the first year

Today is the the day if back pass half year, I will be the most excited girl friend of all. because this is the day i be waiting for to celebrated with you. is a day that our first year together. How wonderful is this if I'm writing with happens, but guess not. i still miss you, love you. every night i pray for GOD to guide me, what should I do? How to i heal my pain? yes, you hurt me hard this time. very hard. but yes. stupid of me is, I'm still in love with you. every where i go, i hope you beside me.
Going to SG is unexpected, because i really hope to forgot about you, forgot about how deep i love you, forgot about all the thing you done for me, forgot about how you look at me, how you kiss me, how you hold my hand. crying with no sound again. pass 3 weeks, wake up at 4am+ and starting looking at the sky till the sky shine, till the time i need to get ready to work.
i wish i can hate you, because if i hate you, i will more easy to move on. but guess not. I try, i try very hard. but still...
I still love you.

亲爱的自己：

以后我们要自己爱自己，没人在意我们的存在，哪怕只

是卑微的在乎。自己要学会自私，学会霸道，学的很坏，习惯无聊，习惯孤单，习惯受伤。
　　
我们不要悲伤，要努力的活，比以前更好，因为只有我们自己。骄傲的活，好好爱自己，没人会心疼你。
　　
亲爱的自己，以后就是一个人了，一个人走，一个人睡，一个人听歌，一个人散步，一个人笑，一个人哭，一个人卑微的活在这个高傲的世界里。不必在意那麽多事，高兴的心态，永远放在第一位。
　　
亲爱的自己，学会自己心疼自己。给自己买好多好多鞋子，走着，去很远的地方，直到自己看不到自己。没有人知道你的存在，所以要自己活在通往寂寞的路上。
　　
亲爱的自己，要学会享受。自己戴着耳麦听情歌，把声音调到最大，轻轻的跟着和。不要哭，只要笑，笑到泪流满面，没人会关心你。自己懂的这快乐。
　　
亲爱的自己，要学会放弃。有些缘份注定要失去，有些缘份注定不会有好结果的，爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有一个人，一定要去好好爱她。如果没有爱意，那就放弃，否则对不起自己。
　　
亲爱的自己，学会比以前快乐，即使难过，也要微笑着，自己可以活的很漂亮，笑给自己看，哭给自己听。聪明一点，不一定让别人了解你，但你一定了解别人。
　　
亲爱的自己，难过了，就蹲下来抱抱自己。不要发脾气，这世界你不欠谁的，别人也不欠你。找个角抱着自己，流泪不需要出声，哭过之后还是自己，还要快乐的生活。
　　
亲爱的自己，不要依赖别人，记住，谁都不是谁的谁。要有希望不要绝望。也不要轻易向别人许下承诺，因有许下的承诺欠下的债。
　　
亲爱的自己，学会调理感情，不要让感情蒙主眼睛，如果那样，哭也哭不出来了。把爱情踩在脚下，它不值得我们怎样。不要回忆，断了的风筝就让它飞走吧。
　　
亲爱的自己，千万不要背叛自己，全世界就算只有你自己，也要懂得自己，爱自己。做最真实的自己，不管现实多麽残酷，自己永远要保护自己。
　　
亲爱的自己。
　　
祝你幸福。
　　
自己­

算是在自我安慰吧？呵呵...

Brave? Or just plain stupid?

“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because nobody wants to fall on their faces or leave themselves open to hurt.” - from Selina Wong

still love you

I still feel as much in love with you as I did when I first fell in love with you but I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you

love you means so much more

I just want you to know, that I've been fighting to let you go. Maybe some days i make it through and then there's nights that never end. I wish that i could believe, that there's a day you'll come back to me. But still i have to say, that i would do it all again. To love you. Just want you to know.

I always expected you to be the one who would say things to my face, to act upon the things you said. Guess i shouldn't have expected so much. You say one thing, but you're doing another.

It's tearing out my heart when I'm with you, but when we are apart i feel it too. And no matter what i do, i feel the pain with or without you. I'm crying with alone again.

Cause to love you means so much more. still you I'm hoping for, and is only you, but will you ever be mine again? i guess I'm scared to take chances.

其实很想你... 思念你的心跳，你能『听见』吗？

时间：一天晚上。
地点：躺在床上。
人物：相互喜欢的双方。
女生很想他，于是决定给他发一条短信：
你睡了吗？在干嘛呢？呵呵，我们还在说话呢。据说明天要

降 温，多穿点衣服呀！！其实--- 其实--- 我现在挺想你的！！
考虑了一分钟，把短信改成：
你睡了吗？在干嘛呢？呵呵，我们还在说话呢。据说明天要降 温，多穿点衣服呀！！
又考虑了一分钟：
你睡了吗？在干嘛呢？呵呵，我们还在说话呢。
又一分钟：
你睡了吗？在干嘛呢？
又一分钟：
睡了吗？在干嘛？
然后，她按了确定发送的键！
( 叹气....)
男生的手机响了！男生抓起来一看果然是她，莫名的激动起来！ 赶紧给她回短信：
我还没有睡呢，现在正在上网。呵呵，我们宿舍也正热闹的起 劲！！听说明天要降温，别忘了多穿衣服呀！其实-- 其实-- 咱们明天一起吃饭吧？
考虑了一分钟：
我还没有睡呢，现在正在上网。呵呵，我们宿舍也正热闹的起 劲！！听说明天要降温，别忘了多穿衣服呀！
又考虑了一分钟：
我还没有睡呢，现在正在上网。
又一分钟：
上网。
然后，他按了确定发送的键！
( 叹气....)
有没有试过这样的情况，你喜欢的那个人，你居然会不敢和他说 话。
写一个短信给他，到了最后一秒，居然就会删除。
左想右想，怕他知道你的心轻视你，怕哪句话说不好让他不开 心，
更怕的是，对方再忙忘记了或者因为别的原因没有回应，你多么 尴尬。
写一封邮件给他，写了一千字，删除掉八百字。
去掉我想念你，去掉所有的心情，去掉天气，去掉自己刚刚看的 电影，
去掉自己昨天心情不好以及今天心情好的原因，去掉所有和感情 相关的字眼，
仿佛公事公办的，变成三行的邮件，到了最后，居然也没有发出 去。
不喜欢的人，可以容易地讲个笑话，随便地发个短信，
甚至，打去电话问对方有什么节目以便随时去参加。
喜欢的，却变成心里的死穴一个，动都不敢动，甚至，看到的时 候，话都说不出来。
喜欢某个人，偏偏见到他，一句话没有。
看着旁边的朋友和他谈笑风生，心里又嫉妒又着急。
暗示或者表白心际，永远不丢人。需要谨记的一条，也是最重要 的一条是，
暗示或者表白，只此一次。
相信我，话说到这样，一次就够了。
没有任何表白或者暗示，谈一场对方不知道的恋爱是很白痴的事 情。
对方收到你的讯息没有回应你依旧持续表白追求则是更白痴的事 情。
他喜欢你，他一定会约会你。
如果对方完全没有回应，但是你还是在喜欢他, 那你就一边忍一边等。
到了某一天，忍到忍无可忍。
对方依旧没有找你。这个人，那就算了吧。
如果我想你了
我会掏出手机
看看有没有你的短信
即使我知道
几率是那么的渺茫
如果我想你了
我会在手机上飞速的打下一连串的对你说的话
最后却始终没有按下发送的键
只是不想打扰你
如果我想你了
我会看我们的短信记录
不管是什么样的对话
始终有种甜蜜的感觉
因为在你面前
我好像总是长不大
如果我想你了
我会借同学的手机拨你的电话号码
然后假装打错的样子挂断
因为那样我会知道
你是停机关机还是开机
如果我想你了
我会想
你是不是会想我呢？
哪怕
只有一秒钟的时间...
如果我想你了
我会听你推荐给我的音乐
细品歌词中的字字句句
如果我想你了
我会把思念换作节拍
让它在双手交辉中流露
如果我想你了
我会学着你的语气对自己说话
有的话很假
有的话很肉麻
如果我想你了
我会照镜子
审视着这样的我
能否匹配这样的你
如果我想你了
我会哭
不会像以前那样给你电话给你短信
只会一个人躲在寝室偷着哭
然后
在你来电话的时候
假装放了静音 不接
之后平淡的发个短信回去
问你有事么
如果我想你了
其实没有如果
每天都很想你
电脑桌面是你
手机主题是你
Mp3相册是你
一切的一切都是你

其实很想你... 思念你的心跳，你能『听见』吗？

不爱，不用那么多藉口

其实你说我们不适合，

那是什么意思呢？

是因为我们性格不同，

背景不同的原因吗？

又或者说我太霸道了些？

还不如这样说吧，

其实是因为你不爱我了，

如果我们的性格真的不同，

背景真的不同，

那当初又是谁选择了我呢？

是谁不顾一切想要和我在一起呢？

藉口那么多都没有任何意义了，

因为在你所有的藉口背后，

隐藏着的只是一句话，

那就是“你不爱我了”

那么多的藉口只是不想让我难过，

但你真的太不了解我了，

或许是因为从没认真去了解我吧，

那么多的理由都不会让我好过的，

因为我很清楚那只是藉口，

为什么已经到了背对背离去的关头，

你依旧不肯对我坦诚呢？

如果说只是不想让我太伤心，

那只是你一厢情愿的想法，

我会因为得不到一个真正的答案，

而傻傻地以为你还是爱我的，

我们不过是不适合...

我会对你还抱着那一线的希望，

希望你能够回心转意...


真的没有适合或者不适合的，
只有愿意或是不愿意留下的，

如果你是因为一时兴起就爱，
觉得不适合就换，
在此我会为你这可怜虫祈祷，
因为这样的你不配得到真爱...

如果爱情只是靠感觉维持下去，
那世上就不会有天长地久那回事了...

你要学会的不止是如何爱一个人，
更重要是学会如何去包容一个人...

waiting

28 may is a Wesak day.
In the afternoon you msn me saying want to talk about it, OK. find.
I'll waiting for you from 8:30 till 10.30 you still not here yet. i sms you asking you :'where are you'? you saying at home. i asking you again : 'you saying you want to talk'? you telling me talk in the phone and asking me go to my room first. that time my heart starting to pain & feeling not right, and yet, you starting to tell me we not click. and you your self don't dare to tell me face to face & playing with words again. and yes! i do, i do come out the word :' you want to break up is it'? and you only starting with a YES. dammnn you! how dare you say that word so easily and from the phone! i ask you to come, face to face to talk it out.
In the car i still remember when you saying out those word ' i don't love you any more'. how dare you see our relationship so easily and so light. and you starting coming out all those reason saying your friend say we not click, I'm too emotional, I'm not strong enough.
My heart cutting to piece by your words. you have no idea how hurt, how selfish when you say that out. last week when we fight because of your phone sms, you still saying I do want you, i do care about you, I do LOVE YOU. and this week you are saying I don't love you. HOW DARE you say it just like that. GROW UP!!! from the first time i know you, you will never been like this. what change you to become so scare. i only want your care. you in the busy time, find! just at list a call. you saying you pampered me too much from the first place because seeing me too much. is that wrong a new couple seeing each other often? is that wrong?
And you telling me on December when we fight, you think again are we belong together? MOVE ON! is you always saying drop it!! what ever we fight i will forget it. and i still don't remember what are we fighting for that time & you still remember. you are so ego, so selfish that only thinking of your self we are not click because i always need you. and you are still thinking about your 21 years old 'best friend' saying we not click. are you that easy to listen what other people say? how about me then? do i say any bad part to you from what my friend say about you? any of them? NO!! is a NO!! because i see what you are, who are you, i choose to believe my self. i choose the right person. and that person have a good soul. yes. you always making me cry. but i tell you how i feel, is you need to listen and do what you think should do and make it better and tell me about it, and that is YOU told me to tell you in our policy. from the first month you told me that. and i always remember that because that is the most imported word for me and that is the most sweet word for me :' Tell me what wrong i do, i will fix it back, i will make my self better for you'. where is he again? where is that man i love so much?

29 may Saturday.
waking up without a soul. been crying the whole day since morning. the word you saying still hurting me so much more that i don't expectant. my family know about it. i do happy i have a family that really care about me will. i praying again. i pray you know what you doing, i pray my Lord, Jesus heal my pain that you give me. and i pray we will be OK.

30 May Sunday
I'm still moody and hurt from the word that you give me. but i starting to angry about you. you can so easily just saying out like this? and why other people words so easily will turn your mind? you should have your own mind set. because is your choose. not them! you are with me, not them! because you work. because your study fail! and you choose to break up with me! the anger in me starting to make me cry again. yes, we are not break up because i say NO! i would let go like this. but yes... is still hurt so much. but when you saying we try again. is a 'love' can try? are you change already? or really just me to try? just by my self?

31 May Monday
from morning. i do know you in the office already, but you didn't put online until afternoon, i ten not to msn,call,sms you. we need to cool down. but I'm still feel hurt.

6 June Tuesday
already pass 1 week that didn't hear your voice. On the Sunday, I cant stop my heart just thinking of you, so what i do is only sms you, i don't dare to call you because i afraid i will just cry out again just hearing your voice. is the pain that make me alive. is the missing part that make me feel sad deep inside. hun...can i still call you that? will that still 'only me' can call you that? i miss you.

10 June Thursday
the whole night I'm been dreaming about you, your bad, your good, the way you look at me, the way you hug me, the way you kiss me, Oh God! i Miss you so much. from the sms i still don't really dare to disturb you. i scare you will hate me, i scare you will run away and i scare you will not be in my life any more.

13 June Sunday
i pray for God to give me strength to talk to you, i pray for GOD you will talk to me that not just a simple word. but end up, yes. disappointing from you again. all you think about is the computer that not giving you the money. yes, i do ask you about 'do you still want to fix?' but really...all you coming back to me is the money. you don't even call me back. my feeling for you i think i lost bit by bit already.

10 July 2010
will never wait again. because you don't love me any more. but i always still pray God will care for you.

Pisces and Aquarius Relationship.

This is an imaginative match, and the relationship between these two will frequently take an unconventional form. The qualities that you like about each other can also be the reasons why this partnership is none to easy. Since both operate on an unworldly, creative and thought level, they tend to understand each other well. However, both tend to get so wrapped up in their own thoughts that they overlook to communicate to each other. Aquarius generates an abundance of ideas, some quite eccentric, while Pisces accepts and responds with intuitive understanding rather than encouraging the Aquarius to finish what they have started. Both need to remember there are times when they must to return to earth or the relationship could prove chaotic.

Aquarius women & Pisces man

Aquarius woman is not materialistic in any way. A simple romantic gesture will get her every time. She isn’t so easily surprised either. In fact, she is the one who usually does the surprising, especially with her whimsical and crazy thoughts that float through her head. Even though she craves her freedom to continue to be her individualistic self, once she falls in love, she is yours forever.

Pisces male is quite taken by Aquarius female. Her odd behavior does not phase him and he knows how to tolerate such antics. He is calm, thoughtful, quite gentle and compassionate, most of the time. Anger him and you’ll see a different side of him, but this rarely happens. He can tolerate a lot and let most of the bad pass him by. He may be confused when it comes to a quick decision, but he is more than willing to give his all to someone he loves whether it be his lover or a family member.

Aquarius woman will commit herself to the man she loves as soon as he has proven to be her very best friend. He will need to show her that he isn’t in the relationship just for her heart and body but for her intellectual mind as well. Most of the time she’d prefer him to show his friendship before his love. She’ll initially spill her all to her new Pisces man lover in hopes that he actually listens to what she has to say. She’ll attentively listen to all of his advice he has to give even though she’ll end up doing things her way anyway. The good thing about it is that the Pisces male will always support whatever she decides to do. Neither of them like to make promises as they hate to break them when given. The only difference here is that Aquarius woman will be open about not wanting to give a promise.

Sex between Aquarius woman and Pisces man is not so much an experience as it is an experiment. With such a mental bond between the two, they will reach new levels in their lovemaking, much more so than the ordinary couple in love. Their bodies can go through the motions and sex can be great, but they won’t feel completely bonded until their minds completely come together. Then, there will be a harmony and a wonderful smooth flow to their relationship. She loves life and will carry this into her sexual bond with him, and he will realize that long treasured dream he has only been able to dream until Pisces man helps him find it. If anyone will be able to find the true romance in a bond, it will be these two.

Pisces man is known to give his all to others around him. His downfall of such a quality is the fear of losing his own regard for himself and what he needs. This holds true for most, except for his Aquarius woman. In her, he sees his own strengths in self sacrificing himself for her without a hesitation. He will not feel whole, nor will he feel worthy of her friendship if she does anything different. Aquarius has a need, a craving for her independence and adventure. She keeps this in her life to keep herself up in the clouds where she is happiest. That is until Pisces man comes along. Something about his attitude and attention toward her brings her out of the clouds and back down to earth. Her need for independence eases and together, that touch of ‘crazy’ that they will play with together will send her into a love that she’ll hold onto forever with faith and loyalty.

There will be arguments between Pisces man and Aquarius woman, sometimes more frequently than need be, but quarreling is sometimes a funny thing when it occurs between two people who love each other as these two do. They’ll quarrel back and forth when in fact all they are really thinking is how much each one wants the other one. The little things can easily be overlooked and the bond between them will grow strong.

做我的男朋友辛苦吗？is hard to be my boyfriend?

做我男朋友不需要很有钱,够用就好了;
be my boyfriend not really need to be a multi millionaire, enough for all the expensed should be find.

出手用不着很大方,肯为我花钱就好了;
no need be a spender, but willing to spend for me.

不需要你多会说甜言蜜语,在我最无助的时候,可以给肩膀

靠就好了;
no need be a sweet talker, but when i need you, please be there for me.


不需要有多浪漫,晚上陪我到处走走逛逛聊聊天就足够了;
no need be a romeo, but give time for holding each other hand have a walk have a talk would be enough already.



如果我们会走在一起,证明我们是相爱的.
if we belong together from the first place, mean we are loving each other already.

我的要求不是很高,去逛街的时候,你会拉着我的手,看到熟人,能够和对方介绍这是我女朋友;
my expectance from you not that high, going out together, you will hold my hand, bang to your friends, you willing to intro me to them saying this is my girl friend.

当我们不在一起的时候,会常打电话发信息给我.证明你有在想我,讲电话的时候,要多说话,我喜欢听到你讲,那样感觉你就在我身边,不许先挂我电话,我讨厌听到嘟嘟声.
Sometimes when we not together, remember to call me or text me, because mean you are missing me, when talking from the phone, talk more then i do, i like to hear your voice, because will make me feel you beside me & do not hang up the phone before i do. because i don't like to hear the droping phone sound.

不要说你很忙,那样只是证明我很自私,讨厌那种感觉,
don't say you busy, that will always make it a excuses and making me selfish. i hate that feeling.

看到靓女的时候瞄几眼就好了,不要流口水~
looking at pretty women remember to call me. but don't dream about them.

久别重逢的时候,记得给我一个拥抱,在我耳边说我好想你. . . .
when seeing each other, remember to give me a hug and whisper beside my ear saying i miss you...

我知道,我很任性,但既然你选择了和我在一起,你就应该学会包容我,能接受并指出我的不好,
我并不是一个自我为中心的人!
i know sometimes i'm rebellious, but since you choose to be with me, please do learn how to pamper me, and guide me from my mistake.

如果你觉得我哪方面不好可以说出来,但不可以忽略我;
if you think which part of me not doing good, you can tell me face to face, but do not ignore me.

我可以忍受你直接说不爱我,但是我讨厌你对我忽冷忽热;
i can tolerance you saying don't love me any more, but i hate you treat me like doll (remember only give a call from the phone, don't remember... will just let it be)

我是人,有感觉,也有脾气,不要说我不喜欢听的话,要是我沉默了,那代表我不想再谈论那个话题,那么请你停止说,我知道我脾气真的不好,但是要是你受不了,你可以和我说;
i'm a human, have feeling and have anger too, don't lecturing me. if i'm silence mean i don't want to talk about it. Then you should stop saying. i know i got a hard temper, that my wrong. but if you don't like it, just tell me.

如果我选择了你,证明我是真的爱你,所以如果我有不好的地方,你也要说出来.
i'm choose you, mean i truly love you. so if i'm wrong, do tell me like i tell you your wrong too.

两个人在一起,就要相互信任,你可以有自己的私人空间,但是不可以欺骗我~ 如果你真的爱着别人，请跟我说，我不想一直受伤害. . . . （因为，我也想有个人爱着我，疼着我！）
God putting two different people together is a hard work already, but it will work it out. our part is giving trust for each other. you can have your space, but don't lie to me. if you fall in love with some one, please tell me. i don't want to be the last to know and get hurt like this. because i my self want a person to love me, care for me. and that person only belong to me.

a hand i can hold on for ever

Im not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I dont want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want a steady hand i can hold. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep and wake knowing that my heart is safe. I want to love and be loved.”

I love to cry

I Love to cry

When seeing you coming with the surprise.
Watch a touching movie.
Saw the street dog been bang by a car.
Answering all the admire phone call and sms but the person I'm waiting to answer was not calling.

Watching you leave me behind.

Rushing all the work when the computer hangs.
Listening to the song that makes me think of you.

First time kissing you

Can’t stop missing you and run out of tissue

Remind me of my pretty dog pass away.

And now looking at my aunt dog passes away.

Can’t reach you

When looking the couples waking beside me and I’m alone.

Finished the email and the computer hang again.

People telling you NO

In a good restaurant having a good meal.

Missing you at night

Depravation time.
Choosing trust or not to trust any more.

tired

I’m starting tired, I’m starting think twice. I try to build the house strong by my self since you always busy, but guess don’t work out this way. Even you not there for me, I try to be strong alone but didn’t work out ideal. I start to laugh with tears in the night. I’m so silly, and stupid. Always though that you see me, pretend you always be there for me, just you too busy with you work.

Pain…not the first time to be pain,but this time my heart break…my mind playing negative game with me, is all negative. I try to think positive, but I can’t do it by my self any more, because is you who break the trust. You break it. The promises from the first time we been together. You break it. How about future? The promises you promise me? Will you break again? When every time I tell you how I feel, you always answer back ‘yes…yes…yes...’ I smile at my self. You fool! Stupid women, how many time you want to give excuse for him. He got the time to reply back the other girl, but how about you? stupid women, loser. Your own boy friend doesn’t care about you going in hospital, "I'm bz" that how you write. He didn’t even notice your change, your mood, he close your phone call!!

I’m so enervation now. But I try to ready my self for every single thing that we will face true now and then, I won’t be able to forget the things that left me broken but I can try. but not alone, but yet…
I feel alone. Looking at my hand again.

分隔两地的情侣

Thank you GOD when i always need help and blur where am i, his always there for me.
This is the another article that just pop in to my net. and i found out is really help what i need and think about it now, and yes...is really help me allot when looking it and rethink and rethink till a smile come out from my face.
and... YES...i will stay strong till the end.

如果你和你的他/她分隔两地，请不要放手。
哪怕你承受着很痛苦的思念，哪怕每天晚上都会睡不着！
只要你坚持了！那么你将拥有别人没有的幸福！
珍惜现在所拥有的才是你应该做的事。
他/她不希望等来的是空白！
有些事物等失去了，再回头就已经没有了。
当你发觉他\她是多么爱你、对你多重要的时候，再回头说“对不起”就已经晚了，
不是每句对不起都能换来没关系的…
“执子之手，与子谐老”分隔两地的情侣们，珍惜你们的感情！
因为你们的等待是值得的。
也许你会遇到比他帅气的，也许你会遇到比她漂亮的，
但是你永远不会遇到一个这么爱你，会说出“我等你”这三个字的人。
也许你感冒的时候他\她没在你陪你，
也许你伤心的时候他/她没能分担，

也许你逛街的时候他\她没能和你一起逛街，也许你想他\她的时候只能发条短信！，
但是你感冒的时候你不去吃药，谁在着急？
你伤心的哭泣的时候，谁在为你流泪？
你逛街的时候，谁提醒你注意安全？
是他\她！
虽然远隔千山万水，但是她的心时时刻刻放在你身上，
虽然你们想对方的时候只能发条短信！
虽然你不开心的时候他没陪你身旁！
但是不要埋怨他，难道他不想陪你吗？
找一个喜欢你的人容易，但是找一个用心爱你的人难！
距离就是考验你们感情的试卷，时间就是考试的题目。

面对弥足珍贵的爱情，我们需要从一而终。
经得起诱惑，耐得住寂寞，唯有这样，才能给予彼此最大的安全感，爱情之路走的才会平平坦坦。——题记 　
　
感情泛滥成灾，暧昧铺天盖地，多少男女迷失在了这个圈子里，爱和暧，同音，意义却相差万里。一辈子，两个人，一直到老，似乎所有相爱的人都是这样想的，也在通过不断努力逐步的实现着最初的梦想。相处的过程中可能会遇到各种突如其来的状况，而那些都不是最可怕的，因为只要彼此之间爱的足够深刻，所有的问题都是会迎刃而解的。有爱在，不用怕。
　　
蠢蠢欲动的寂寞，燥动的感情一触即发。站在世俗之外，爱的透明，清晰可见。仿佛只有感情才真正值得去追求，其它的东西都如同过眼云烟，转瞬即逝。于是，一颗颗不安份的心便开始寻找可以不再孤独的安身之所。当两个想爱的人走到一起，就便成了相爱。可在很多时候，拥有一个人，一段感情，是并不能满足自己对爱的需求的。在一起久了，难免会感到枯燥乏味。新鲜感虽然不能决定一切，可还是会影响到对感情自制力很差的人。背叛，很严重的词汇，也是爱情里面致命的伤。 　　

爱情是不能分享的，每一对情侣都希望自己能成为彼此生命中的唯一，一生的主题。自私但不自利，虽然有时会因为看不惯对方的不在意而大动干戈，但谁又能说那不是爱的体现呢？很多时候爱是自私的，更多时候，爱是伟大的，无怨无悔的付出，奋不顾身的牺牲，不都是在爱情里最常见的吗？没有谁可以容忍自己的另一半去和别人卿卿我我，爱的越深，在意的程度就越大。为了捍卫纯洁的爱情不受外来者的侵犯，往往我们都是会不惜成本的，即使伤害到别人。最遗憾的不是自己爱的人爱上了别人，也不是不爱了自己，而是明明是相爱的，却把感情一分为二，或者更多的份，还口口声声的说只是暧昧，不是感情，更不是爱，这是很让人怒发冲冠且难以接受的，在我的眼里对暧昧的理解就是，暧昧，说白了，其实就是一种掩饰。一个人可以和很多人暧昧，但却是不可以爱着很多人的，暧昧是一个很好的借口。 　

如果我说我感情着几个人，我都很喜欢她们，甚至是爱她们，你一定会用花心去形容我，并且会鄙视我。但若是我说，我和很多人暧昧着，那么，你的情绪表现的就不是很激动了。暧昧就是一种待确定的感情，可以随时随地的随便的开始，也可以随时随地的随便的结束，相对爱而言，是不用承受太多的压力的，但得到的却都是一样的。同样是感情，叫法不一样就免去了很多麻烦和心理负担，何乐不为呢？可能，这就是很多人宁可去暧昧也不愿意去谈情的原因吧。
　
虽然暧昧着是轻松的，但最后造成的伤害一样是那么的撕心裂肺。人的感情是很难控制的一种东西，心口之所以不能如一，就是因为不想欺骗自己的感情，又不想隐瞒真实的感受。暧昧是糖，甜到忧伤，在众多的经典语录里面，对这两句，我尤其的记忆犹新。暧昧永远都没有爱情重要，但请记得，如果一个人真正的爱你，是不会和你去暧昧的。如果你也爱一个人，请不要去和别人暧昧，因为那样会伤害到你们之间得来不易的爱情，也会伤害到其他人。暧昧只能填补内心一时的空虚，是长久不了的，是有百害而无一利的。一份美好的爱情，是容不下一丁点的欺骗和虚伪的，但更容不下的是暧昧。

i know what to do, but dont know how to do

I'm breaking down, but i trying not to break down infant of you.
I'm crying, but I'm trying not to cry infront of you any more.
i want to share my problem with you, you can act like a listener, but I'm trying not to any more, because you are saying I'm too emotional and not strong enough to handle my self.
you saying i tight you up, but i only seeing you ones a week...and only just half a day. just last few week i starting send you home every night. and that only cause 15 minutes or maybe 1 hour if we are going to have dinner together. you say your friend ask you how many times you seeing me, but why your friend didn't ask another way how many hours spending together? I though most of the couple do that. is it?? sending the love ones home, having a late dinner when just finish work. sharing problem, know more of each other. is it? what i want?? i just want you...no need to see each other every day since you don't like it,I'm ok with that... but at list a call? just to say good night? we not far, but sometimes i looking at you, you still have the wall there. you don't let me in. are you?

一段感情会在不同的阶段而改变，双方都应该为这段感情负责任和付出，最重要是大家的步伐是一致，如果另一半比你走得慢的话，你为什么不稍微放慢脚步然后牵着他的手一步一步的走下去？不要觉得懒惰为对方做点事，其实一个小动作或者是一句贴心的话都是你们感情上的小甜点。
感情就好像在煮一道菜，信任就是开胃菜，容忍和体谅就是主菜，贴心就是不可缺少的甜品。祝读着这篇文章的你永远幸福

i read this article in someone blog. is say. relationship will always go wrong if dint have the heart to take care. partner have to responsibly and give out, not just take. important part is 'walking', if other partner 'walk' slow, why not you wait and hold your partner hand 'walk' together? do not lazy to think and do something for your partner, because every single small little thing and words from you will always make it better.
relationship is like a menu, trust is the appetizer, Tolerance & Pardonis/Considerate the main course, and for the dessert is caring, do not lack without the dessert.

know what you want, but do you know what i want?
i always want my partner have the shoulder to let me lie my head there. and say...every thing will be fine.
oh~ well...pillow is my best friend again, having bath will be my emo place again. and i though i can change to a better release place...and share with a person, not the wall.