sabah trip

Going Sabah last few month ago,now i only put the picture out. Mmm..you can say nice place,good people, not allot of car,,and you don't see jam.ha ha ha...and ofcause you saw allot of SEAFOOD....fish fish.. This trip will just me & my mum, so 2 women going north or east still act what women do..ha ha ha..Shopping!!! we shop from buying seafood back like dry salty fish, salty prawn, their got allot there and some more is very cheep.

Then because thinking is been long time my mum dint go for all those place like pub, disco..you know...young people go and their not going any more...that kind of place. so i bring her in, WOW!! what we see is not young people there,is old people there, some more is old till can become my father or my grandfather.ha ha ha.and... sure got 1 lady sit beside them..So is Mmmm...me and my mum.Will..since we're in..so just have fun. turn up is boring......

Well...any way.is nice to going out have a nice new place for a rest.beside work ,,work,,and more work. so..hope to go out again some day.

mood..

I think i aways day dream. i dream about when I'm rich, i think about how to become a 'pig' ( please go read my lazy me), i think about sad, i think about..nothing...yes..nothing.. Do you all know when you day dreaming is make you brain more wake when you wake from your day dreaming!!..i forgot which Doctor so & so said about that. Any way...let have few nice sweet day dream if you are very sad..or nothing to do..

sad,bored,suicide

this few week i think I'm losing my self. friends always said I'm a very positive person,but i think i can't make it this time. i know not the first time. is already long time story,but i know in side of me is still there..the anger..the pain.
i hate thinking of that,
i hate to be only looking at the side that no what know I'm there,
i hate why he will always get in my way,
i hate why she only will see what he need but not me,
i hate why he can do it i can't, i hate this kind of stupid suck life,
i hate i can't keep my anger,
i hate my life now,
why!!!!!! i can't hate is it??!! YES..I CAN...I CAN DEATH IF I WANT TO..
I'm crying without sound, you understand....I'm pain..in side of me...I'm still pain...WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO SOME MORE.!!!!!!! I GOT MY LIFE..MY OWN LIFE... why is you..why is always you..why you always never see what have i done..how good I'm doing???!!! i feel tired..feel tired deep inside my heart,not the body...deep inside me, i can't feel my self any more, my eye are cold when i saw you..i know. my body are not warm with you any more. what you want more..what you want from me now??

Eau De Toilette

i always like perfume, is smile good, ofcause you need to buy a real perfume, and the Small need to really soot you.that's call your body smail..ha ha ha..

what is perfume..Mmm...flower, hebs, some more?? oh!..and make man love to smile at you. :P

#flower

flower photo i take from my studio #2008

i close my eyes ( so she can dances)

A waltz when she walks in the room, She pull back the hair from her face, She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight, even her shadow has grace.
A waltz for the girl out of reach, She lifts her hands up to the sky, she moves with the music, the song is her loves, the melody’s making her cry.
So she dances. In and out of the crowd like a glance, this romance is from afar calling me silently.
A waltz foe the chance I should take but how will I know where to start. She’s spinning between constellations and dreams. Her rhythm is my heart.

When I close my eyes I can see the spotlights are bright on you and me. We’ve got the floor and you’re in my arms.
How could I ask for more?

So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance. This romance is from afar calling me silently. I can’t keep on watching forever and I’m giving up this view just to tell her.

Song by John Groban

A song that always make me pain inside my heart no matter how long the time pass and still the pain is here,
Know she will going some day, know she will leave me some day, know she will said still love me, but, the pain is still here, when I close my eyes in the dark I still can see. And will away know the pain make me cry like a wolf that lose his mate in the cruel distaste dark night.
How to do with this pain! how do I run away without feel it, how do I fly away that the pain no follow me.
Knowing some day some how the pain will gone, know this pain will be a memory. But..........

My New Year Holiday 2008

MY first Holiday In 2008

I been very long time dint go holiday,so we desited to go Melaka,From the Morning around 8+am from home,first LRT to KL Sentre,then change to KTM to Seremban,From seremban buy a bus ticket to Melake,this a bagpack trip.soo...no driving.using around 2 to 3 hour from train to bus,and from bus change to walk.is fun for me.

Looking back allot of history stuff,from red house to a ...(forget the name..all pass back to my Teacher) and eat allot too..from the popular Melaka chicken rice ball to BBQ baby squid,and Melaka laksa,Melaka ABC,Melaka Tea,Melaka fish ball....too much!!
almost 5+pm,We are at the jonker street, and need to find place to stay, we desited a motel call Baba nyonya. old place,old sofa,old picture,old people..(taking care that motel is a old uncle) still a clean place to stay for a night. is classic too..

of course night time we hang out the jonker street,they have night market there,from 5pm start to 12am .allot of thing to see,from food to wooden stuff. and we find a pub call Geographer cafe, cosy place..and of course allot of 'kuai-lau'..and beer is cheep there too..just 3 of us we already call 3 jug beer,ending is 2 is already hight..but the hight part is the singer,is a old guy,oh!! he is Good!! jazz,old song,pop...from bee Gees to Michael Buble..i love to stay back to listen until the end,but guess cannot,that 2 need to sleep,if not don't know what will happen later..
Second Morning..Is a Good Morning for me.For me..2 of them...not sure,too much beer..i think..We walk again,We find Place that is already Hero, places already been a History too many year and now become too many tourist come and..'this is a place that XXX diet and XXX war and XXX'..Mmm...(- -) III

But any way..is been a good trip for me,maybe really too tired from work and i need a place,any place to breath.although trip is very short,but i still having fun. (^^).and maybe next time will take more then 3 4 day off maybe 2 week (-.-) their will hate me not go to work..and will see you soon,MY HOLIDAY TRIP.

My family story..

If you discovered you have a sibling out there, who has one parent in common with you, what would you do ?
What would your reaction be ?
Yes, that would mean one of your parents has been unfaithful.
Would you acknowledge the other child ?
Would you be kind and treat him/her as if your own sibling?
Would there be prejudice ?
Would there be bitterness?
Would the circumstances that created him/her matter ?
Do you consider it a betrayal to your other parent if you indeed acknowledge the wedlock child ?
Would it be considered encouraging the infidelity of the parent?
Would you see the child as solely innocent and should bear no disgrace?
Would you turn towards the "third party" to vent out your anger?
Would you instead then blame the unfaithful parent ?
Would you stand aside and be calm believing that since all has been done and that there is nothing you can change that you should be understanding ?
What would you do ?
This is a friendster blog From Vi Kee Ng,
She ask me before what my story be.Now i tell you my story.

I born in a singer family,yes. Singer family,my mum only,don't have a father in my life before,i know,i look fine. When i was born,my father leave us with another women,that's my brother told me,of cause when i still a litter baby,who care about.is only a baby,she never know until she grow up.then when i was in 5 to 6 years old,i start to ask all the people around me,where is my father?how old is he? where is he now?the same old story that every one will saw on TV,a litter child will aways saw the friends father picking them up from school.yes.i saw that too when i was a litter girl that spend most of the time with my grandparents.my mum need to work,my brother too 'old' for me to talk what i need,my feeling for all the think happen around me.

I still remember when i was around 7 or 8 years old,my mum will finish work then pick me from grandparents house and that time we don't have money to buy a car yet.we need to walk around half hour from the bus stop to our house.is a very dark, no street light.but i still remember is the dark blue sky.a lot of star around me,the sky,the tree,the road, the rock you stepping it..we will talk,what happen in school,what happen when I'm in grandparents house.then our home is there.but some how some times the 'father' i like to ask my mum will cannot come out from my lips...

I still always will think of my father,the man not in my life before,will think how he look like,how tall is he? is he smile like my brother? how about now? how many litter brother and sister i have.huh? what sister what brother? ..The children's with him now,the 'second' wife he live together now.I'm not angry with him,I'm not up sad with him and I'm not disappointed with him,just...a feeling that not love but not hate..he still my father if he still want to be,his another half to brought me out in this world. Do i love him?..Mmm...good question..I'm not sure,what i feel about him,I'm still not sure,but i still wish him good health, if possible,i like him to know I'm good, without you looking me growing as a adult. mum is till good,we will live together until the end. And now i can support my self and family.

Yes,some times i miss him,i miss how is he? i miss a time without spend together,I'm not sure what happen to my parents,i have no interested to know. but some how some day i wish to know him. a man call father to me.

I remember in my life,a lot of friend asking me what is the feeling without a father,friends will ask you,teacher will ask you,some times you will hear some story about the girl with no father..and that is..the story is come out from your family...what to you feel when you hear this story and when you are a litter child that really not sure what to do,and shoot i talk to brother or mother? No,i didn't tell out until now.child memory is still here and is still really clear, but now I'm a adult,i can think of my own,story still a story,true or not true will not matter any more.Mmm..can said the wind have come and taken all a way..

lazy me...

I am a very very lazy person,i admit.he he he...how lazy can i be? can guess? Na...i don't think so,for all my friends,I'm a very good..any thing need my help i will sure help that kind of girl.but their don't know me well in my lazy part.ha ha ha....

o.k,how lazy i am? Mmm...where do i start first!...home of cause,all the lazy will be at home,when I'm not working,really not working that time i can sleep until 3pm afternoon,and don't think last night I'm going out for party or what ever,i sleep early like maybe 11pm+, yes..i still can sleep until 3pm+ if really not working. my family will call me pig that time,but i think their already call be pig...?? than now eat..how to eat in 'lazy'.. when you guys see later you guys really will laugh, eating part. if can,chicken i only eat braes meet,why? because no bonus..prawn i don't eat much,why again? prawn got shell right! I'm lazy to Peel it off...that why i don't eat prawn,same as all the seafood that got shell.he he...well! some times when out with my family eating seafood,Mmm....will Peel my self,(i still got two hand to use OK!), and of cause my be loved brother or my mum will Peel it for me...i know,i know..I'm already 25 year old.....not a baby or a princess..but hey! family mah!...my brother always said,'when you have boyfriend we will pray for him'........,I'm not finish yet with my 'lazy', i eat i don't wash,my shirt will be every where if i dint have a maid,my books will be all over my bed if my mum dint scare me said don't keep back will throw.can read books until hungry but don't want to eat (not dint said no food),of sleep until the hot sun is sunburn my butt i still can sleep like a pig.see!...this is me.(^^) my 'lazy', sooo....my friends..are you guys think is this ellan ah? yes...yes...is me...i got more 'lazy' think can tell but...to shy for that.if you want to know.ask me your self.if not,i will keep for my self.(^^)&

she only want your care

i forget when i read this news..form the Internet?...form the news paper?...or from my friends?...
a story...no cannot said is a story,because is from china and is true.
A old lady,a very old lady age around 70+,live alone in a kampung,you know,,china kampung is really poor 'kampung' type...back garden..(so call garden) is the big rubbish mountain,than old tree,long grass every where,you can see it from news paper some times.house like if you and your friend just using hands will be fulling a part,that kind of house,not soiled at all.yes.she live there,alone.and she 70+, hey! you be asking me,where the children's? well! you can laugh until you cry really cry..she have 3 to 5 children's staying in big city,and same story like no other,because she is old,and we have to work,no one want want to take care,and she told us is OK for her to live alone..the children's said..(sad is it?)so,she live alone,fine! she live alone,but the think is..she's hungry,the children's forget she there,forget to bring food for her,forget she a old lady,forget she cannot find food by her own,forget to give money,forget no electricity,forget no water,their just forget their have a MOTHER...

so? how she survive,ha!..you be crying now.she still can walk,just cant walk far,she will walk around to her neighbored house,people will give food to her,some times she find some food from the dog,the leave over food,she will take it back and smile 'I can eat 2 meal from here'.don't ask me how i know she really said that!...is from the news.how about water? from the rain,from the blow,from the tree,i don't know...i really don know..

End.where is she now? death..know why? starving until dead,doctor said not enough vitamin,and she sick because of the water. laughter part is,her children's cry like hell..i don't what to said any think when i know this news..pain? yes..really.but how?just a news, still got a lot of this news..so? who care! their own children's also don't care,why us? see! this is human.....ha ! human ..i cant said any more..because I'm a human too.but i can said one think is,i know i have a Mother..